Sunday, October 21, 2012

We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Programming For A Post About... VEGAS!!!!!

I know you all are DYING to hear about the lack of progress on our drainage system, or about the last minute visit of my mother-in-law and her FOUR CATS, but all that is LAME. So instead, I will give you one  house update (only because the picture is funny), and the remainder of this post will be about a magical adult playground called Vegas! But first, on with the house nonsense...

Our washing machine broke. FML. It is a rusted out, funky, partially working POS, and now it doesn't spin. We've wanted a new one since before we closed on the house, but they're expensive, and we remember seeing SWA-EEET deals on washer/dryer combos for Black Friday, so we were planning on waiting. With that dream still in mind, Derek decided to attempt to fix it. But alas, having a conversation while he was doing so became a bit of a difficult task. So, we re-introduced the HOLE OF COMMUNICATION!! (Click on the link to see the original post about this revolutionary new product) ...

To some, this might look like a ghetto shower that is missing a cover plate, and has a hole in it's hideous tile. But with a closer look....

You can see the revolutionary effects of this amazing, luxury feature... the ability to communicate through walls! "It saved my marriage," said no one ever. "I don't know how I ever lived without this," said someone who was paid in bacon to read a script. But wait, if you act now, you'll get a FREE SHOWER (just pay an additional clothes drying fee).

Yeah... so about that free shower. We've been using our guest shower since we moved in because our master shower (aka the orgy shower), doesn't work. So while I was in the shower, using the hole of communication to have a conversation with my hubby, I started to play with the handle...and I got soaked. Apparently Derek forgot to mention that when he redid the plumbing MONTHS AGO, he got the shower working again, and that the only issue was the lack of a cover plate and the fact that the shower needed a seirous cleaning. This means that for months we've been using our guest shower, when we had a huge, fully functioning, orgy shower in our bedroom... we're geniuses.

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And now for the only part of this post you people care about......


It was AUH-MAZE!! We went for Brodie and Sara's long awaited wedding, but first, we had more important things to attend to...the bachelorette party! And it wouldn't be Sara's bachelorette party if the queens weren't invited!
It was a trailer trash themed drag show, and it was awesome!

But the wedding was the real show! It was in the Valley of Fire, and you'd have to be blind to not see the amazing beauty...

And it was out there in the desert that I got my GED from high heel high school (I was an early drop out due to laziness, and a love for flats). I mean gravel in 5 in gold glittery stripper heels, that's good stuff! I would have gone for my bachelors in heel wearing, but I dropped out after the reception dinner when I discovered that my insane heel antics had led to 2 blisters and a cracked big toe nail.

Dinner was at a beautiful restaurant in the Venetian that acted as a bridge over looking St. Mark's Square, and the gondola rides. Afterwards, we changed and headed out to Freemont Street for some late night debauchery...

The last day we were there, the weather finally warmed up, so I had to accomplish my last 3 Vegas goals.
1) Visit a Vegas pool (and this was sweet, but at some point I want to do a Vegas pool PARTY)
2) See the Bellagio fountains..

3) Have a ridiculous Vegas night club experience...

And with our fabulous friends officially official, and our Vegas checklist as complete as we could make it in 5 chilly days, our trip was perfect!

...now back to home improvement... :'( WAH!!


Monday, October 1, 2012

Every Village Needs a Ditch Digger

Boys dig holes to bury treasure, Derek digs holes to bury our flooding woes.

It was a busy weekend, and Saturday, we had other, more important things to do...
Photo taken at 8:00am... yup I said AM

But Sunday, while I was busy doing my domestic duties--laundry, cleaning, vacuuming, saving the world, grocery shopping, meal planning, ya know, the usual--Derek was busy digging away. He filled in a hole and added a fancy drain...

And he dug a much bigger hole...



This was just now, after a monsoon last night, and more rain this afternoon
The project is far from finished, but another section of the moat got covered before the day was done, and another drain was added...

The ultimate goal is to have a perforated pipe, wrapped in a "sock," (to keep the dirt out) buried underground from the front to the back of the back yard, and for the gutters to feed directly into it. But really, does anyone read this blog because they're interested in french drains? If so, please stop reading now because the rest of this post is not for you. If not, THANK GOODNESS!! That junk is boring! So here is a little non sequitur about our evening last night, and our glorious fur baby.

Lucy does not like loud noises like doorbells, car horns, door slamming, knocking and...


but in addition to the evil vacuum cleaner, Lucy's other loud noise enemy is thunder. And last night our unfinished drainage was put to the test, and thunder accompanied it.

12:47am Lucy, who just got a bath, decided to go outside and bark at the thunder to scare it away. We got up, retrieved her, closed the dog door, and attempted to go back to sleep.

2:23am(ish) Charlie our cat decided that he did not like the dog door closed, and that he needed to get outside... NOW. So he decided to walk up against the blinds over and over making abnoxious noise, pissing off Lucy (causing her to bark), and waking us up. We  yell at him and throw things at him (don't hate, look at that time, and tell me you wouldn't throw something at him!), and he stops. We once again attempt to sleep.

3:??am Charlie no longer is content being inside, and throwing things at him is no longer working. Derek gets up and deals with him, and I am wide awake.

I am awake, and wish I was asleep, but no matter how hard I fake it, I just can't make it. So I peek one eye open and hope that I have plenty of time to fall back asleep before my alarm goes off 4:44am. 

FML

5:00am My alarm clock goes off.

Are there ear plugs for dogs...with long floppy ears? Or, perhaps, is there a way to sound proof your house from thunder?? ... I'll add that to Derek's list.