We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Programming For A Post About... VEGAS!!!!!

I know you all are DYING to hear about the lack of progress on our drainage system, or about the last minute visit of my mother-in-law and her FOUR CATS, but all that is LAME. So instead, I will give you one  house update (only because the picture is funny), and the remainder of this post will be about a magical adult playground called Vegas! But first, on with the house nonsense...

Our washing machine broke. FML. It is a rusted out, funky, partially working POS, and now it doesn't spin. We've wanted a new one since before we closed on the house, but they're expensive, and we remember seeing SWA-EEET deals on washer/dryer combos for Black Friday, so we were planning on waiting. With that dream still in mind, Derek decided to attempt to fix it. But alas, having a conversation while he was doing so became a bit of a difficult task. So, we re-introduced the HOLE OF COMMUNICATION!! (Click on the link to see the original post about this revolutionary new product) ...

To some, this might look like a ghetto shower that is missing a cover plate, and has a hole in it's hideous tile. But with a closer look....

You can see the revolutionary effects of this amazing, luxury feature... the ability to communicate through walls! "It saved my marriage," said no one ever. "I don't know how I ever lived without this," said someone who was paid in bacon to read a script. But wait, if you act now, you'll get a FREE SHOWER (just pay an additional clothes drying fee).

Yeah... so about that free shower. We've been using our guest shower since we moved in because our master shower (aka the orgy shower), doesn't work. So while I was in the shower, using the hole of communication to have a conversation with my hubby, I started to play with the handle...and I got soaked. Apparently Derek forgot to mention that when he redid the plumbing MONTHS AGO, he got the shower working again, and that the only issue was the lack of a cover plate and the fact that the shower needed a seirous cleaning. This means that for months we've been using our guest shower, when we had a huge, fully functioning, orgy shower in our bedroom... we're geniuses.

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And now for the only part of this post you people care about......

It was AUH-MAZE!! We went for Brodie and Sara's long awaited wedding, but first, we had more important things to attend to...the bachelorette party! And it wouldn't be Sara's bachelorette party if the queens weren't invited!

It was a trailer trash themed drag show, and it was awesome!

But the wedding was the real show! It was in the Valley of Fire, and you'd have to be blind to not see the amazing beauty...

And it was out there in the desert that I got my GED from high heel high school (I was an early drop out due to laziness, and a love for flats). I mean gravel in 5 in gold glittery stripper heels, that's good stuff! I would have gone for my bachelors in heel wearing, but I dropped out after the reception dinner when I discovered that my insane heel antics had led to 2 blisters and a cracked big toe nail.

Dinner was at a beautiful restaurant in the Venetian that acted as a bridge over looking St. Mark's Square, and the gondola rides. Afterwards, we changed and headed out to Freemont Street for some late night debauchery...

The last day we were there, the weather finally warmed up, so I had to accomplish my last 3 Vegas goals.

1) Visit a Vegas pool (and this was sweet, but at some point I want to do a Vegas pool PARTY)

2) See the Bellagio fountains..

3) Have a ridiculous Vegas night club experience...

And with our fabulous friends officially official, and our Vegas checklist as complete as we could make it in 5 chilly days, our trip was perfect!

...now back to home improvement... :'( WAH!!

Every Village Needs a Ditch Digger

Boys dig holes to bury treasure, Derek digs holes to bury our flooding woes.

It was a busy weekend, and Saturday, we had other, more important things to do...

Photo taken at 8:00am... yup I said AM

But Sunday, while I was busy doing my domestic duties--laundry, cleaning, vacuuming, saving the world, grocery shopping, meal planning, ya know, the usual--Derek was busy digging away. He filled in a hole and added a fancy drain...

And he dug a much bigger hole...

This was just now, after a monsoon last night, and more rain this afternoon

The project is far from finished, but another section of the moat got covered before the day was done, and another drain was added...

The ultimate goal is to have a perforated pipe, wrapped in a "sock," (to keep the dirt out) buried underground from the front to the back of the back yard, and for the gutters to feed directly into it. But really, does anyone read this blog because they're interested in french drains? If so, please stop reading now because the rest of this post is not for you. If not, THANK GOODNESS!! That junk is boring! So here is a little non sequitur about our evening last night, and our glorious fur baby.

Lucy does not like loud noises like doorbells, car horns, door slamming, knocking and...

but in addition to the evil vacuum cleaner, Lucy's other loud noise enemy is thunder. And last night our unfinished drainage was put to the test, and thunder accompanied it.

12:47am Lucy, who just got a bath, decided to go outside and bark at the thunder to scare it away. We got up, retrieved her, closed the dog door, and attempted to go back to sleep.

2:23am(ish) Charlie our cat decided that he did not like the dog door closed, and that he needed to get outside... NOW. So he decided to walk up against the blinds over and over making abnoxious noise, pissing off Lucy (causing her to bark), and waking us up. We  yell at him and throw things at him (don't hate, look at that time, and tell me you wouldn't throw something at him!), and he stops. We once again attempt to sleep.

3:??am Charlie no longer is content being inside, and throwing things at him is no longer working. Derek gets up and deals with him, and I am wide awake.

I am awake, and wish I was asleep, but no matter how hard I fake it, I just can't make it. So I peek one eye open and hope that I have plenty of time to fall back asleep before my alarm goes off 4:44am. 

FML

5:00am My alarm clock goes off.

Are there ear plugs for dogs...with long floppy ears? Or, perhaps, is there a way to sound proof your house from thunder?? ... I'll add that to Derek's list.

6-Month Anniversary of Home Ownership

It's official! We've been homeowners for 6 months! And while time, money and energy have prevented us from being complete with our renovations, we've definitely gotten a lot done. Today's blog will show off our successes, and admit our shortcomings. Let's start with the Master bedroom...

Before

After: new carpet, blinds, wall paper removal, and popcorn ceiling removal (retexture pending)

We still need to retexture the ceiling, hang a new fan, and paint, but it's not too bad in here! Our bathroom has improved too...

Before

After: Good-bye wall paper, and hello fabulous head band and bow displays!

We still need to paint, restain the cabinets, replace the light fixture, frame the mirror, replace the faucets (which have been sitting in our garage since March), and nix the sexy pink counter tops, but I think the wall paper removal alone made a big difference! But the bathroom renovations didn't stop there...

Before

After: new toilet, paint, and window film (because I highly doubt our neighbors wanted to see us on the potty)

We (like how I keep saying "we," yeah. Well picking up the materials, and saving to pay for them needs to count for something!) still need to replace the shower faucet (which is also in our garage), get our shower working, and do jumping jacks in it (because it's that big). But I probabally spend the most time in this room...

Before

After: new carpet, scraped ceilings, and a whole lot of stuff

We (yup I'm not stopping with that) still need to retexture the ceiling, put in a light fixture that isn't a light bulb hanging from the ceiling, and maybe one day I'll get that fancy custom closet I was promised. ;) The living room is looking more liveable too...

Before

After: not much to be honest, we I (yup I did that) just cleaned like no other, added our junk and hung blinds.

Before

After: added our junk, hung some things, and tested paint on the walls

We still need to scrape the popcorn ceilings, replace the tile, paint, and hang curtains. Now we've moved up in pretty much every room... except the office...

Before

After: new carpet, ceilings scraped, blinds hung, holes made in the wall (for plumbing), and... my junk

Yeeeah. So the office was nice, and then I got laid of and my stuff came here, and then I got rehired, but in a different grade, so my unneeded things stayed, and then I offered my lower level books to a new teacher, who sorted them, and left before she had time to take any with her. It'll be a while before this room is truly photo-worthy. The guest bedroom, though, is much more worthy...

Before

After: new carpet, blinds hung, popcorn removal, and furniture addition

 This room is actually semi-presentable (by the way it looks like we painted, but it was just different light), and until the office is ready, the desk and book shelf are in here so I can work on my masters. And the guest bathroom has improved as well...

Before

After: shower curtain, window film (because I would end up with paparazzi if we didn't cover that window), and a new tub handle (the rest is yet to be replaced, but it's with the rest of the stuff in the garage)

 We still need to replace the toilet, the faucets, the shower head, the pink countertop, the mirror, the medicine cabinet, and repair the holes that were repaired by the previous owners using duct tape, sand the cabinet, and stain it to it's original wood glory. Yeah, it's a project. 

The front bedroom hasn't changed much...

Before

After: some wallpaper removal, new carpet, blinds, and holes in the wall from the plumbing

Now to the kitchen...

Before

After: new island countertop...kinda, and blinds

Before

After: countertop, and our junk :)

So Derek got a sweet deal with this countertop from work because it was FREE!! He just needs to  seal it and install it. The kitchen also needs new tile, and paint. Last but not least, I shall kick you out so you can look outside...

Before

After: booger bushes were hacked out, trees and hedges were trimmed, garage door was fixed, and drainage work began

So there's still so much more to do, but we're impressed with what WE'VE ;) been able to do so far. And since we have a minimum of 29 1/2 years left here, I think we'll get it done.

A New Place to Pee

Another week at Casa de Goodfriend of me working on my computer screen educed tan (a spray tan would be much more effective), but fortunately Derek didn't follow my lead in the working around the house department. Two weekends ago we bought paint...

Yeah, that face is me trying not to cry about how much money I just dropped on paint.

We're not quite ready for a painting party yet because it's kinda hard to paint around these...

And those aren't the only ones. Plus, we still have this...

We've kind of pretty-ied it up, but let's face it--you can put an AMAZINGLY AWESOME collection of gnomes on a piece of crap, and it's still a piece of crap. But fortunately there was one area that was ready for paint. In fact, in order for things to move forward (or should I say down the drain), it needed to be painted. That room is the master bathroom. And not only did my FABULOUS husband paint it, he put our new toilet in too!!

Now you might think to yourself, "But Simone, you had such a sweet deal with the toilet in the shower before. It was the ultimate answer to laziness," and to an extent, you'd be right. But to a bigger extent, you'd be a lazy hillbilly. We now, for the first time since we lived in Cambridge (our first place together), have 2 toilets in the SAME house!!!!! We will no longer have to ask anyone if they have to pee before we take a shower! It's very exciting. Perhaps next we will have a working master shower too, so that 2 people can shower at the same time (another first since Cambridge).

...but maybe not, because that just might be too mind blowing, too soon. Perhaps we'll go back to drainage for a while.