Now those of you who know my husband know that he does incredible handy man wood work; however, he has to be around to do that work. As you can imagine, someone who does such fabuous work is rather reluctant to have someone else do work around his house. So I had to devise a plan. I decided I would save up, get the work done while he was gone, and "surprise," him upon his return. I mean, what can he do? Untexture the ceilings?
There is an inherent problem with this though. Being the wife of someone who has always had her husband do these things himself, I have no concept of what these things cost. So, I had my friend Mike, who is a general contractor, come over to give me a quote on the first round of things I want to have hired out. But I should have known that it was going too well...
As Mike is going around the house, Derek makes his nightly call.
"Hi Derek," Mike yells out.
"Ummm... What is Mike doing at the house?... Are you getting estimates??"
(long pause)
"Ummm... No, Mike is just here to say hello and hang out."
"Why is a man with 3 children, one of whom is an infant, coming over on a Wednesday night to say hello?"
(long pause)
"Just tell me what it costs when it's done."
Oops! lol I guess I'm no as smooth as I thought I was. But now I have, or will have once the estimate is in, an idea of what this type of thing costs, so I can start to save for something about the house to blog about.
Another funny #truckerswifeproblem came up on Friday night.
I had just gotten a bikini in the mail, and I was trying it on before going out to dinner when I heard this weird noise coming from the back yard. I wondered what it was, but decided to ignore it. A few minutes later I heard it again. So, in my brand new white bikini, I looked out my window only to see the most ridiculous thing ever.
We keep our patio screen door open because we do not yet have the dog door from the patio to the yard installed (I know, this unfinished project is a shocker), and apparently, a pigeon got stuck on the far side of the patio. Well Charlie, my cat, saw the pigeon and his wild instincts kicked in and he decided to go after it. So he pounced, landed right in front of it, and then, not knowing what to actually do with it, swatted at it. The pigeon responded by freaking out, flying up into the screen multiple times, then in to the ceiling, which caused it to knock itself unconscious and onto the floor. After landing on the ground, Charlie no longer knew where it was, so he just relaxed where he was. A few minutes later, Charlie saw the pigeon, and the whole thing started again. So I had to get this pigeon off of my patio. But how? This is a husband duty, not mine.
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| Step 1: Cat attacks pigeon |
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| Step 2: Pigeon flies up and hits the screen multiple times in an attempt to get out |
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| Step 3: Pigeon flies up to the ceiling and knocks itself unconscious |
So, in my bikini, and pressed for time, I went outside with a broom and tried to direct the pigeon in the correct direction. This was not successful, and the cat decided to "help," which made it no better. After several attempts to get both the cat and the dog in the house, and then blocking the door from the house to the patio, I was on the patio alone with the pigeon, but what the hell was I supposed to do with it?!?
Fortunately, I had been on the phone with a friend getting a bikini opinion (yes, I was still in my bikini, which I hadn't completely decided on keeping, during this) and she suggested using a towel to get the pigeon. So with a towel, I attempted to get the pigeon. The hard part was that I was as afraid of this stupid pigeon as it was of Charlie. I mean, pigeons are just rats with wings. They are infested with diesases, and have sharp beaks (at least it looks sharp), and it was flying everywhere and going insane only seconds ago. I'm pretty sure it could kill me... at least, in the moment my lack of logic had convinced me that it could.
Twice I attempted to drop the towel over the pigeon to catch it and it flew up, into the screens, then into the ceiling, where it knocked itself unconscious. This caused me to make screaming/squealing noises and run away.
I can only imagine what the neighbors must've thought.
On my third attempt, I was able to get the pigeon, whom I then took to my front yard (my cat would have gotten him in a jiffy in the back). In the end the pigeon looked pretty battered, and there were feathers all over my patio, but I did it.
Being a trucker's wife has it's challenges, but now I know I can handle pigeon problems... in a brand new white bikini no less!!
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